Computers

I have a feeling that life would be better without these computers

Pulling everyone apart, so that all these losers

Can sit and chat on the internet all day

Saying whatever things they want to say

Ranting about politics, movies, or the even the weather

Everyone's got a voice now is how its described in the paper

Which is online now conveniently

Causing death to the noble paper industry

And Facebook isn't helping things much

Letting us all connect and keep in touch

But is that really what it does?

Or does it let us meet people without meeting up?

This generation doesn't know how to call friends

They'd rather text the news before speaking to them

This generation's lack of communication is

Already replacing the sensation

Of calling someone up on a date after the wait

Of the universally accepted two days

After you meet some nice girl at a party

And she gives you her number and says call me

There's no Facebook, no texting

No flirting through impersonal messaging

Instead you lay awake that night

Wanting to call every time you might

Happen to look at the clock

Time moves slowly when you know you've got

48 more hours until you're able to call

And the butterflies are floating around in your stomach

And you can't get on Facebook, look up, and start pumping

Your mind full of the things that she likes

On her profile page after she accepts your invite

To be your friend in a strictly digital sense

So you can talk about things she's already mentioned

On the computer that's she passionate for

And you're not interested in them so you're

Pandering to her good natured body

Not at all interested in her personality

You can just fake it and be totally phony

And she'd never know it until the next morning

Computers have changed things in so many ways

Direct deposit? I'd rather stare my check in the face

How can you trust this system of digital money?

Is it even real or is it a funny

Joke on Americans to keep us in check

Letting the government take whatever they want when they can't

Seem to squeeze any more money into the national debt

And then we see our money gone and start to fret

We we all victims of identity theft?

The nation's in turmoil and we can't forget

That we never even saw our money and what we have left

Is what's in our wallet, and not in our checks

But who carries cash anymore? It seems to be dead

Like bellbottoms, buses, and aerosol cans

All our cash disappeared with the rest

I wish I kept all my money under my bed

In my piggy bank I got back when I was ten

On my birthday I thought I was too old for it then

Now I wished I didn't smash it over and over again

This probably won't happen but just stop and think

How far will we go with this computer thing?

Was life simpler back in the day?

Maybe, but we've got to live with the mistakes we've made

Those Dang Kids!

When I was a kid in high school I thought I had it all

Straight A's, kinda tall, and had a bounce when I walked

My Math class was the worst because everyone was stupid

And I'd lose it when the teacher would stop class just to prove it

He would always say we were the worst class he ever had

He failed us so bad that we all got mad and told our dads

That he touched us in a place that made us sad

So he got fired the next day and the class was ecstatic

But the next teacher was so pale he could've been locked in an attic

For at least 30 years and that would explain his appearance

He disappeared when the lights were on and we couldn't even see him

So this bully kid started making fun of him one day

And the whole class laughed except me because that bully's gay

So I told him to shut his fat face when he was yelling

That the teacher's skeleton was as visible as his melon-

Shaped head that was too big for his puny shoulders

That one probably hurt and cut so deep it burned

The teacher because his eyes locked and watered up

And you'd need a huge cup to catch all the tears that dropped

Then the bully turned around and looked straight at me

Asking if there was a problem and if I knew wrestling

Because he was the captain of our school's team and he religiously

Practiced every day so no one would dare to be messing

Around with him because he knew how to fight and he egged me

That I would drop in two seconds flat if he test me

But I said fuck you, I'm not scared, there's no pee in my underwear

So he crossed the room like a giant bear, from here to there, and grabbed me by my hair

He threw me across the room so fast from the front to the back

That my head hit the wall with a sound like splat

When I got up he was rushing at me and put me in a headlock,

Told me to say uncle but I said suck my cock

So he threw me again, this time over a desk

And I wished I had a gun and a bulletproof vest

Because I would've ended him right there in the classroom

But I was armed only with my brain and my attitude

So I grabbed the stapler and bashed him over the head

Pierced his skull through his forehead and pulled his long dreads

He screamed out loud and I shouted a loud "Yes!"

I banged his head against the wall and asked if he could breathe

And I know he couldn't see because his eyes welled up instantly

From all the pain I had caused him as he started to cry

He better kiss that badass reputation goodbye

Because I just destroyed it and some of his soul at that

All because I defended a teacher during Math.