Party Foul

You know that I can't do a single thing when I am drunk

Except stare and smile at the stupid thing I thought

I'm sitting on a couch that feels just like the boat in Jaws

I'm rocking back and forth between her and all of ya'll

My head gets heavy and I try to keep myself awake

You know never to fall asleep in a foreign place

We forget about our troubles and the pouring rain

We drink away all the pain and leave a bunch of stains

When I wake up...

My shirt's a different color

I have 20 new numbers

The lights were never turned on

The same can't be said... for most of us!

The party says it starts at the house with booze at 9

We all know it won't get going until late at night

But when it does you have to look forward and not turn back

Regrets don't exist if you don't remember that

The games start and all the cards are passed out to the crowd

But it's too loud and we all yell to actually play the round

We abandon and set up the table and the cups

We get ping pong balls and win the game with some luck

When I wake up...

I'm sleeping on the couch

There's girls all about

But I'm sleeping with my clothes on

Did I do right or wrong?

And my head aches with the fun of all last night

Remembering the guys that drink with me all the time

So many people and numbers who do you call?

They're all so pretty but do they remember you at all?

Conversations and insights into things of haze

A fog clouds everything in a buzzing way

But you remember the face of the one you know

And you like her more after seeing her let go...

When I wake up...

I don't think that I threw up

There's 50 empty red cups

Nothing too bad went down

So please come back around

I Told You

Come on now, just let me in

Do all these writings have to have some deep meaning

Like a Woody Allen film?

I see lots of movies

Him and Frank O'Hara are two of my idols

How much time was wasted?

Who am I without these movies?

What could I have been?

Poetry is so self-obssesed

But what else am I going to write about?

I can't write about your life, or make insights

Into your motivations and actions

But I told you to be better

I told you to be kind

I saw how you were dressed

Now who the hell am I?

Did you ever see something in me?

Or was I just another high?

Were you trying to seem older?

By treating me so fine?

I'm sorry that I don't know what to apologize for

Where did we go? Were we ever there?

Why do all my poems come back to this? To you?

So many drafts discarded, so many wasted nights

Writing things completely different, but all the ending rhymes

Just come back to this, to you and the sea

To another lonely night and a wasted opportunity

Moondust Memories

When things don't seem to go just right

And we pause and look up into the night

We see the moon and it seems that it doesn't care at all but

We're stuck with it for as long as we're with it

And it's not pretty but we might as well be proud of it

And I don't know where we went wrong

Our sense of wonder isn't as strong as some

People might want it to be

One night I decided to stop time

When my girl knelt down and began to cry

She said it's my life, not your life and I can end it when I want!

What did I do to come to this situation?

And the moon responded that I was on probation

For making people's lives miserable

Hurting everyone I know and my girl

I said wow you can talk what does that mean

Should I evaluate my life and all those silly things?

And then the moon said I don't know anything,

I'm just a rock in the sky so you should still bring

Your feelings along as we talk along

Time really flies your having fun doesn't it?

I asked the moon if I should go off to save the world

To make up for the hurt I've hurled

At anyone who listened and got lost in transmission?

The moon said get on with your life

Stop stopping time you're only prolonging your place in the moonlight

My head is heavy but my gaze was steady

The moon wasn't going to win that easily

I said you're not my psychologist, for all I know you don't really exist

You're just rock, you're not smart, you can't start to be part

Of the world because you only show up in the dark

The moon retorted that he's really important

And he shows up at night because the world needs sorting

If the world was pitch black every night there'd be fights

And the sights would burn out all the whites of your eyes

The moon said he was mirror, but what does that mean?

He said I could see everybody who wanted to be

On the moon and looked up at it when they couldn't sleep

At the exact same moment the moon was looking at me

And even though we would would never be looking

At each other's faces we could still cooking

The exact same meal at the exact same time

And could see each other without looking in the other's eyes

Computers

I have a feeling that life would be better without these computers

Pulling everyone apart, so that all these losers

Can sit and chat on the internet all day

Saying whatever things they want to say

Ranting about politics, movies, or the even the weather

Everyone's got a voice now is how its described in the paper

Which is online now conveniently

Causing death to the noble paper industry

And Facebook isn't helping things much

Letting us all connect and keep in touch

But is that really what it does?

Or does it let us meet people without meeting up?

This generation doesn't know how to call friends

They'd rather text the news before speaking to them

This generation's lack of communication is

Already replacing the sensation

Of calling someone up on a date after the wait

Of the universally accepted two days

After you meet some nice girl at a party

And she gives you her number and says call me

There's no Facebook, no texting

No flirting through impersonal messaging

Instead you lay awake that night

Wanting to call every time you might

Happen to look at the clock

Time moves slowly when you know you've got

48 more hours until you're able to call

And the butterflies are floating around in your stomach

And you can't get on Facebook, look up, and start pumping

Your mind full of the things that she likes

On her profile page after she accepts your invite

To be your friend in a strictly digital sense

So you can talk about things she's already mentioned

On the computer that's she passionate for

And you're not interested in them so you're

Pandering to her good natured body

Not at all interested in her personality

You can just fake it and be totally phony

And she'd never know it until the next morning

Computers have changed things in so many ways

Direct deposit? I'd rather stare my check in the face

How can you trust this system of digital money?

Is it even real or is it a funny

Joke on Americans to keep us in check

Letting the government take whatever they want when they can't

Seem to squeeze any more money into the national debt

And then we see our money gone and start to fret

We we all victims of identity theft?

The nation's in turmoil and we can't forget

That we never even saw our money and what we have left

Is what's in our wallet, and not in our checks

But who carries cash anymore? It seems to be dead

Like bellbottoms, buses, and aerosol cans

All our cash disappeared with the rest

I wish I kept all my money under my bed

In my piggy bank I got back when I was ten

On my birthday I thought I was too old for it then

Now I wished I didn't smash it over and over again

This probably won't happen but just stop and think

How far will we go with this computer thing?

Was life simpler back in the day?

Maybe, but we've got to live with the mistakes we've made

Those Dang Kids!

When I was a kid in high school I thought I had it all

Straight A's, kinda tall, and had a bounce when I walked

My Math class was the worst because everyone was stupid

And I'd lose it when the teacher would stop class just to prove it

He would always say we were the worst class he ever had

He failed us so bad that we all got mad and told our dads

That he touched us in a place that made us sad

So he got fired the next day and the class was ecstatic

But the next teacher was so pale he could've been locked in an attic

For at least 30 years and that would explain his appearance

He disappeared when the lights were on and we couldn't even see him

So this bully kid started making fun of him one day

And the whole class laughed except me because that bully's gay

So I told him to shut his fat face when he was yelling

That the teacher's skeleton was as visible as his melon-

Shaped head that was too big for his puny shoulders

That one probably hurt and cut so deep it burned

The teacher because his eyes locked and watered up

And you'd need a huge cup to catch all the tears that dropped

Then the bully turned around and looked straight at me

Asking if there was a problem and if I knew wrestling

Because he was the captain of our school's team and he religiously

Practiced every day so no one would dare to be messing

Around with him because he knew how to fight and he egged me

That I would drop in two seconds flat if he test me

But I said fuck you, I'm not scared, there's no pee in my underwear

So he crossed the room like a giant bear, from here to there, and grabbed me by my hair

He threw me across the room so fast from the front to the back

That my head hit the wall with a sound like splat

When I got up he was rushing at me and put me in a headlock,

Told me to say uncle but I said suck my cock

So he threw me again, this time over a desk

And I wished I had a gun and a bulletproof vest

Because I would've ended him right there in the classroom

But I was armed only with my brain and my attitude

So I grabbed the stapler and bashed him over the head

Pierced his skull through his forehead and pulled his long dreads

He screamed out loud and I shouted a loud "Yes!"

I banged his head against the wall and asked if he could breathe

And I know he couldn't see because his eyes welled up instantly

From all the pain I had caused him as he started to cry

He better kiss that badass reputation goodbye

Because I just destroyed it and some of his soul at that

All because I defended a teacher during Math.

Summer Nights

When I go out at night to do whatever it is

I do

I hope you don't worry that green little head of yours

The trees of light will be my guiding

light

back to your arms of willpower

Sometimes I wish my life was like a TV

show

I hope it wouldn't get cancelled

My life is already fake enough as

it is anyway

I guess this really is reality television

I feel trapped during the night unless I'm with someone who

knows how to have

a good time

Hopefully we can just go to the movies and watch things we have already

witnessed

in years past

Life is the rewinder I had as a kid that played back my VHS tapes so I could

watch them again from the

beginning

When the velvet leaves of winter come crashing down through our vortex of

intimacy

I'll keep my hands at my side

If time is time and your time is measured in music, then will you

drown

in the sidewalk's enticing collection of wines?

I know you have more resolve than that to fall for such folly

When I come back late that night and you are quietly

asleep

I promise not to wake you I won't make one sound

Your hair won't even be able to hear me (or whisper for that matter)

You won't regret letting me stay out late because I haven't

done anything that bad

Your sheets will stay warm and your mind will stay precariously between

sailors and the Jets

I love you, and don't worry about anything

I'll leave the light off

Thoughts in the Rainstorm

CHARACTERS:

Isaac: a mid-twenties grad student

Annie: Isaac's girlfriend

SETTING: Isaac's and Annie's room

Thoughts in the Rainstorm

Isaac: Do we really have to go to this party tonight?

Annie: Of course we do. The author always shows up for her own book launching.

Isaac: Yeah but all those stuffed-shirt phonies are going to be there. You know I can't stand to hear that psudeo-intellectual babble they spew out about modes of alienation in contemporary society or whatever.

Annie: This is my first novel released by a publisher and I really want to make a good impression. Can you act charming for one night please?

Isaac: What? Do I never act charming?

Annie: Why are you so hostile tonight?

Isaac: Because the Yankees are playing the Red Sox on TV.

Annie: Oh come on Isaac they play, like, 200 games a season right?

Isaac: No. Not 200. And this is the biggest rivalry in the history of sports. It's America's pastime. It represents a younger United States that could sit back and relax and enjoy a slow game of baseball all afternoon. Now everyone is just bored by it.

Annie: Maybe because it's boring?

Isaac: You've just been bombarded by too much MTV and Michael Bay movies to appreciate a slower, more methodical game.

Annie: And you don't think you talk like an elitist intellectual?

Isaac: I just don't like making fake insights with people discussing the decay of the modern man or the myth of the American Dream or something like that.

Annie: Well a lot of them are professors you know. Some of yours might even be at the party tonight.

Isaac: And yet another reason to go...

Annie: What? You don't like any of your professors?

Isaac: My professors are cool. But they're like any other professors. You might talk and philosophize with them during class, but you never want to see them outside the class.

Annie: Why not?

Isaac: Because then your bubble of freedom is burst the moment they start talking. You're like, "Oh yeah I have a paper to write in his class," or "I can't believed I failed her test last week".

Annie: Oh come on Isaac it can't be that bad.

Isaac: Well it's not fun either.

Annie: Why do you always reduce every situation to it's worst possible outcome?

Isaac: Annie, we've been dating three years, you know it's how I function.

Annie: Yeah I know, but I don't think like that.

Isaac: Opposites attract.

Annie: Somehow.

Isaac: ... so are we really going to the party tonight?

Annie: Of course we are, Isaac.

Isaac: Well do they have a television there?

Annie: No. Remember? Jason and Mary don't own one.

Isaac: Of couse they don't. And I assume they only buy organic food at farmer's markets or Whole Foods right?

Annie: What is that supposed to mean?

Isaac: You know... after they're done shopping they put the food in the back of their hybrid car and drive home to read The Onion or something because they don't have a TV.

Annie: I don't know that much about my publisher.

Isaac: Just your typical upper-middle class, city-dwelling hipster probably.

Annie: We have to leave in 30 minutes Isaac. You should put on something nicer.

Isaac: What my blue jeans aren't formal enough?

Annie: Are you serious?

Isaac: I thought informal was the new formal.

Annie: Yeah and Blu-Ray's the new DVD.

Isaac: Hey it's going to happen someday. When they lower the prices and movies start to be only released on Blu-Ray, I'll say I told you so.

Annie: Ok, but while we're waiting can you get dressed?

Isaac: Ok... so you don't like the jeans?

Annie: Just get some nice clothes on!

Isaac: (laughs) Ok ok.

Annie: Do you think this book's going to make me famous?

Isaac: I never try to over-analyze a situation that's reliant on variables.

Annie: Just humor me then.

Isaac: I honestly don't know. I think it's good enough to get you recognized, but I can't predict the patterns of the fickle American public.

Annie: Thanks for the confidence.

Isaac: You know I try my hardest never to lie.

Annie: Well there's a fine line between lying and encouragement.

Isaac: Yeah a non-existant one.

Annie: Isaac. Please get ready.

Isaac: I am getting ready. I'm building a protective shield around my brain to guard me against the philosophical rambling of your compatriots.

Annie: Well they are very knowledgeable.

Isaac: With great knowledge, comes great hubris.

Annie: (laughs) I'm not going to deny that.

Isaac: (after getting dressed). You know, I think you are going to be famous.

Annie: Really?

Isaac: Yeah of course. It's a great book, especially for a debut.

Annie: Aw thanks Isaac. I knew there was a reason I'm in love with you. (laughs)

Isaac: (laughs) Only one reason?

Annie: No way.

Isaac: Yep, we're going to hit the big time when your book comes out.

Annie: I hope so. Why don't you share your "insights" with the stuffed-shirts at the party?

Isaac: You think they would care?

Annie: Well they better, because I sure do.

Isaac: (smiles) Thanks Annie.